In today's rapidly evolving world, it's crucial to understand and solidify our values - they form the backbone of our identity, influence our decisions, and define our worldview. These personalised norms guide us through life, assist in attaining mental stability, and cultivating a whole and gratifying life.
What are Personal Values?
Values are the fundamental beliefs that guide our attitudes, actions, and decisions. They're reflections of what we find most significant in life. These may encompass concepts like honesty, success, freedom, security, or creativity, each person's values are personal and unique to them.
Consider personal values as internal compasses directing your behaviour and decisions. They represent the way you wish to show up in the world, the type of person you want to be, and how you choose to live your life.
How do Personal Values work?
Defining your own values begins from within. It involves a deep understanding of oneself and appreciation of the life one desires, interests, what you care most about, and how you feel at your very best. You have to determine what is most important to you personally, what you value, and how you want to be remembered when you are gone.
An excellent way to curate value systems may include brainstorming about moments of your life that brought happiness, pride, satisfaction, and then discern common patterns. The prime values are often apparent in those moments.
These internalised codes then act as guides when making decisions. For example, if one of your values is honesty, you would strive to be truthful even in challenging situations, standing against dishonesty at all costs.
These values often become unconscious forces driving our behaviour. As we reinforce these values, they further embed themselves into our identities.
Personal Values & Mental Health
Values play a critical role in mental health. When our actions and decisions align with our values, we experience a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. It leads to increased self-worth and confidence, contributing to better mental health.
On the flip side, not living in line with our values can make us feel unhappy, unsatisfied, and conflicted inside. These negative feelings can worsen mental health problems like anxiety and depression.
This is why mental health professionals often encourage clients to explore their values as part of their treatment. Cognitive behavioural therapy, for instance, often includes values clarification exercises, helping individuals understand how their actions align with their values. In doing so, these practices encourage behaviours that align more closely with these values, fostering a sense of well-being and satisfaction.
Furthermore, values can serve as a helpful coping mechanism during tough times. When encountering difficulties, reflecting on one's values can provide strength, motivation, and guidance, aiding in overcoming challenges and fostering mental resilience.
The Consequences of Not Knowing Our Values
When we fail to intentionally choose and define our values, we leave ourselves vulnerable to several negative consequences that can significantly impact our mental health and overall quality of life. Values act as our internal compass, guiding our decisions and actions. Without this guidance, we may find ourselves drifting aimlessly or making choices that are misaligned with our true selves leading to stress and poor mental health. Here’s how not choosing our values can affect us:
Lack of Direction and Purpose
Without clear values, we may struggle to find direction and purpose in life. Our values help us prioritise what’s truly important, enabling us to set meaningful goals and pursue activities that bring fulfilment. When these are absent, we can feel lost, purposeless, and demotivated.
Increased Stress and Anxiety
Living without defined values often leads to increased stress and anxiety. When our decisions are not anchored to personal principles, they can result in inner conflict and uncertainty. We might constantly second-guess ourselves or feel guilty about our choices, which can erode our mental peace.
Susceptibility to External Influence
In the absence of strong personal values, we become more prone to external influences. Society, peer pressure, and media can have an undue impact, pushing us towards decisions that may not align with our authentic selves. This disconnect can lead to a sense of incongruity and dissatisfaction.
Inconsistent and Impulsive Decisions
Values provide a consistent framework through which we filter our choices. Without them, our decision-making can become haphazard and impulsive. We may make quick, short-term choices that seem beneficial in the moment but actually detract from our long-term well-being and goals.
Weaker Relationships
Values play a crucial role in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. When we haven’t identified what we stand for, it becomes challenging to communicate our needs and boundaries effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of trust in our relationships.
Diminished Self-Esteem
Failing to set and live by our values can negatively impact our self-esteem. Our self-worth is closely tied to living authentically and in accordance with our principles. When we neglect this, we might feel disconnected from our true selves, leading to a lowered sense of self-respect and confidence.
Regret and Unfulfilment
Ultimately, living a life disconnected from our core values can lead to significant regret and unfulfilment. As we reflect on our lives, the absence of meaningful direction can lead to a poignant realisation of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.
By understanding these potential consequences, it’s clear that taking the time to choose and live by our values is not only beneficial but essential for our mental health and overall life satisfaction. Making conscious choices based on our values helps us navigate life’s complexities with greater clarity, purpose, and integrity.
Discovering Your Core Values: Techniques and Examples
Uncovering your core values is a transformative journey that can provide clarity, purpose, and direction in your life. It’s an introspective process that requires time, reflection, and a willingness to explore your deepest beliefs and desires.
Here are some effective techniques to help you find your values, along with practical examples:
Self-Reflection and Journaling
Self-reflection is a powerful tool for identifying your values. Set aside time regularly to contemplate what truly matters to you and jot down your thoughts in a journal. Ask yourself questions like:
- What makes me happy and fulfilled?
- What activities make me lose track of time?
- What principle do I want to uphold in difficult situations?
Example: Sarah, a healthcare professional, takes 15 minutes every morning to journal about her experiences from the previous day. Over time, she notices a recurring theme: a strong desire to help others and improve their well-being. She realises that compassion and service are key values for her.
Values Lists and Inventories
Using pre-made lists of values can expedite the process of identifying your core beliefs. These lists provide a variety of possible values, such as honesty, family, creativity, and freedom. Select or circle the values that resonate most with you.
Example: Mark discovers a comprehensive values list online and circles terms like “integrity,” “innovation,” and “community.” He narrows down the list to his top five values by reflecting on why each one is important to him and how it manifests in his daily life.
Visualization Exercises
Visualisation exercises can help you connect with your deepest values by imagining future scenarios. Picture your ideal life five, ten, or twenty years from now and consider what values are fundamental to this vision.
Example: Emily envisions her perfect day ten years from now. She sees herself surrounded by family, working on creative projects, and engaging in community service. Through this exercise, she identifies family, creativity, and contribution as her core values.
Examining Past Experiences
Reflecting on pivotal moments in your past can reveal patterns and principles that are important to you. Consider times when you felt proud, fulfilled, or particularly distressed. These experiences often highlight underlying values.
Example: John recalls feeling immense pride when he stood up for a colleague who was being treated unfairly at work. This experience underscores his value for justice and fairness.
Identifying Role Models and Influences
Think about people you admire and the qualities they exhibit. Often, the traits we respect in others are reflective of the values we hold dear.
Example: Maria admires her grandmother’s unwavering honesty and kindness. She realises that integrity and compassion are values she wants to embody in her own life.
Professional Guidance and Workshops
Sometimes, seeking external help can provide new perspectives. Life coaches, therapists, or structured workshops can offer guided exercises and frameworks to assist in the discovery of your values.
Example: During a coaching session, David is prompted to create a personal mission statement based on his strengths, passions, and values. This guided exercise helps him recognise the importance of growth, leadership, and making a positive impact.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Engaging in mindfulness and meditation practices can help quiet external noise and connect you with your inner self. These practices foster greater self-awareness and can illuminate what truly matters to you.
Example: Through daily meditation, Lila develops a deeper sense of inner peace and clarity. Her practice helps her identify serenity, balance, and self-awareness as her foundational values.
Crafting Your Values Statement
Once you’ve identified your core values, consider creating a values statement or manifesto. This can serve as a tangible reminder of what you stand for and guide your decisions. Example: “I am committed to living a life of integrity, creativity, and compassion. I will strive to innovate, support others, and lead by example in all my endeavours.”
Summary
Essentially, establishing your own values isn't just a personal virtue—it's crucial for mental health. These subconscious guides play a key role in shaping our behaviours and decision-making, significantly contributing to our mental resilience. The harmony between actions and values brings us mental satisfaction and peace, spreading positivity throughout our lives.
Focusing on understanding yourself helps you figure out what truly matters to you and bring those things into your daily life. It's like a positive loop where knowing your values boosts your self-awareness, and being self-aware helps you live by your values. So, take a moment today to think about what's important to you and how you can act in ways that match those values. It can make you feel better and healthier mentally.
Remember, your values are your personal blueprint to leading a vibrant and gratifying life. And the immense influence they exert on our mental health certainly underlines the importance of setting your own values.
